Monday, March 22, 2010
I found a package in the mail today. It’s brought me an incredible wealth of mixed emotions, but I cannot be anything but grateful. Dot mailed them to me. She said she would. She is amazing.
I see myself in them – I am in them. It was so long ago. I seem so far away. I see something blossoming amongst the pictures & I wonder where it went. All those dreams, the family . . .
I feel inspired. It brings me closer to “who” I think I am. The circle has broken. The connection is missing. I can feel the love, almost taste it . . . almost . . .
A void so vast floats there. It isn’t ugly. It’s just floating. I can see it, but I can’t touch it. It’s beautiful, but I have to find some way to breathe it in and really feel it. I think it’s impossible. The only way to really feel “it” is to share it. Nobody else wants to share. I can see them running away. They’re scared. I don’t really know why, but I can guess.
I will treasure these moments. I will drink them up and let them rush to every ounce of my body, my soul. I will heal. I need to find more. My soul needs a little light…